Confirmation

I had booked a last minute 5 day break and we were both coming to terms with the thought of parenthood and that our relationship was indeed going to going to the ultimate level, whilst waiting to get confirmation of exactly what stage In the pregnancy I was...

We went of to the sun for some much needed RnR. My husband started to relax while I was adjusting to my body changes, such as cramps and the things I could eat and drink (funny enough it didn't bother me that I had to cut down on the amount of alcohol I drank, since I didn't really drink much generally to start with).

The Holiday allowed us to talk and not think of anything else but where we were.. whilst walking around our hotel grounds one evening, my husband said 'Well I thought I had done it all, but here I am about to have a sprog at 42'! The funny thing about Australians is the words they use...i.e. 'Sprog!' meaning child.... 'Yes we will' I confirmed with a 6 foot grin on my face.....

We returned from our impromptu break late on the 20th May, with a bit of bronze in our cheeks and feeling a bit less like casper the friendly ghost and a skip in our step. On the 22nd I rang the Dr's again to find out if they had heard back from the Royal London Hospital and they confirmed they hadn't but were pleased to say that a fax had been sent for the referral! I was furious since they had said to me that a referral had been sent two weeks ago, after a few stressful words with the surgeries secretary, she promised to call me back once she had called the hospital again but she did stress that she didn't have any luck trying to get in touch with them previously. Great I thought, no wonder people grumble about the NHS and maternity units.....and again I left the matter with them for a couple more days...

I had read and heard that during this time of pregnancy morning sickness will affect you, but for me my morning sickness came and went. In the mornings I felt queasy but was still able to have porridge but at night it was ten times as bad, to the point where I got home and just fell onto the sofa feeling sorry for myself and when people rang my mobile I ignored it, as I couldn't even be bothered to move my hand to pick it up.... talk about feeling very unsociable!!!

That week Friday, I was fed up hearing nothing from my Dr's surgery and rang them again to confirm what the hell was going on, especially as I had been waiting weeks for an initial appointment to confirm the pregnancy and to make sure everything was OK. 

I got through to the secretary first go and she said 'ah yes, I have just got through to the Hospital' (funny that, I have not heard a thing from you I thought!!!!) and I am sorry to say that they are not going to accept the referral as they will only accept people from their borough'. I then asked about the other hospitals apart from the 'Queens Hospital' and she confirmed 'well you will find the same thing there and the best you can do, is have a look yourself for a hospital that could take you and then tell us and we will make the referral'! I was gobsmacked, I asked her 'So even though you give mothers-to-be four choices, in actually fact we don't have a choice and have to go to the one marked in black on the paper work which is the Queens', 'yes' she said..

Now as I have read really bad reports of the maternity care at this hospital, I was highly concerned and highlighted this to the secretary, she replies matter of factly 'well that is your only choice, unless you can find some where yourself'... I was shaking with rage and may I add heightened hormones.. I said fine just put me forward and put the phone down... and as I did, the tears flowed hot and fast....

As this is my first pregnancy, the fear of the unknown and the uncertainty it holds are at the fore front of my mind and being told I have to go somewhere, where I feel very uncomfortable about going didn't help.... I ended up snapping at my husband and sales manager. As soon as I got home, I blurted everything out tearfully to my husband about what had happened and text then my sister, asking about other options and maternity insurance cover to go private.

Later that night, my husband came up to me and said 'Go private, all I want is for you to be safe and to go somewhere where you are comfortable', 'What about the cost?' I replied,  'I want what is best for you and I don't care about the costs'... Big brownie points for hubby...

So over that bank holiday weekend, I surfed the internet and spoke to my sister with regards to private options and which hospitals run Midwife services.  That following Tuesday, I got back to the office and called around and finally got an appointment with 'The Birth Team' who do the full maternity package i.e. anti-natal clinics, blood works, scans, classes, birth and postnatal midwife visits etc. and got an appointment that day to see the Midwife and Obstetrician...... I was ecstatic!!! I was getting confirmation of 'The Sprog'.

That Afternoon on the 27th May 2013, we made our way to the private hospital with plenty of time to spare and as soon as we got to the first floor, the Dr. came out to greet us. After 10 mins of Q & A he said 'Do you want to do a scan?'. 'Yes please' I eagerly replied. I got on to the bed and after getting prepared, the Obstetrician undertook the scan and said to my husband 'Do you want to come and look?' and there it was confirmation in all its glory of the sprog and its little heart fluttering away in black & white on the screen....It was such a relief and a highly emotional moment for us both.

'It looks like a jelly bean', my husband said while clutching the printed scan, 'Well' said the obstetrician 'you are 8 weeks and 5 days and it is only 2.5 cm, it will grow'...

The Shock...

So, I had told my Husband that I was pregnant and we were at the end of April 2013, you can imagine the shock. He was quite and deliberating what I had said, but at this point slightly inebriated due to the celebrations and my mind was whirling, I am going to be a mother a hell of allot sooner than I had bloody expected!

Instead of keeping quite, as most good husbands would do, when your wife tells you that your expecting and that it is very early, only 4 weeks if that, he then decides to blurt it out to everyone on that roof top who had joined us in our company celebrations following our event, that he was going to be a dad. Great I thought, thanks a bloody bunch for telling everyone, even though I hadn't told our families. I glared at him and smiled at the well wishers but glared none the less, as he should not have said anything, especially since I was still getting my head around it and allot can happen between now and 12 weeks, 'Wait till I get you home', I mouthed at him.......

That weekend at the beginning of May, I did the next test to double check and yes there again in great bold strokes two lines looked unwaveringly at me.. that puts to bed the phantom pregnancy idea I thought.

So I told my husband that yes, I am definitely pregnant and the next step I need to do is book myself into my Dr's for appointment, he looked at me and said 'well there goes my 13th new year in a different country',  I just said 'Well we are definitely going to have an eventful Christmas and New Year, since I will be due around 28th December 2013', his eyes just bulged, while smoking a cigarette...

I continued that he has to realise it is quite difficult for me since; 1) I wasn't expecting to be pregnant quite so soon, since I had only taken out my contraceptive implant on 27th March! Which was just a few days over a month ago, 2) it doesn't help that he is smoking and I have to quit now, including stop drinking (which to be fair was quite easy) 3) everything was being turned on its head due to me being pregnant. He said one thing....'Well I am quite known for being fertile'!! I just burst out laughing...... talk about trumpeting his vitality...

That Sunday 5th May,  I went to see my best friend who I will call 'AK', (AK was also my chief bridesmaid at my wedding and someone I have known for 11 years and just adore), for a bit of a chin wag and moral support. Now she has always been on at me saying ' when are you going to have children and catch up with me?' as she is a mother of two adorable little girls, one of whom is my god daughter. As soon as I got to her house, I said to her 'I have something to tell you and just looked at her....' her eyes widened and she shrieked 'your pregnant' while grabbing me in a bear hug.... her laughter was infectious and I giggled 'yes' and told her that I was about 5 weeks as my monthly was due around 24th April etc...she said 'I knew it, as soon as you said your boobs were sore', since I had text her about some of the symptoms I was experiencing a few weeks ago... 

'I hope your ready to be a god mother?' I said, she replied 'I will be there every step of the way, whether you like it or not, including telling off your husband'... I just felt very comfortable and that was when I started allow some of my inner turmoil to go, my husband on the other hand was stress central.

I had the Dr's appointment booked for the 9th May and went, why I bothered I don't know, since I had a new Dr this time, all she did was fill in paperwork and refer me to a hospital. When I asked her  which had the best maternity unit from the list of the four she offered, she looked at me and said 'I don't know' then started searching on her phone. So I did my own quick search and made a selection,  she then told me I will hear from them to confirm the first scan which will be booked in around 8 weeks or so and if I didn't hear from them directly to ring this number. On closer inspection of the pamphlet and info sheet I was given, the number actually showed a different hospital!! arghhhhh... I actually wanted to strangle her....(metaphorically speaking of course)

So a few days later, I get a call from the different hospital which was shown on the info sheet I was given, saying that they cant do anything with this referral and that I need to speak to the Dr's surgery to get them to refer me to the hospital I requested. So I dutifully rang the surgery and spoke to the referral secretary, who said that yes she will try and call them to enquire. The lady then rang me the next day and said she could get through and that she will fax them instead... talk about having no idea... I threw question after question at her, but I had to leave it there, as there is nothing I can do for now but leave it in there questionable hands...

Back to stress central, due to my  husband and my job being very highly pressurised, his mind started to not focus and following on from months of us working virtually every weekend (as we had to ensure the projects we ran and the event we held went 110%), I just knew it was a matter of time till he cracked, as I could already see the signs. He had black rings under his eyes, he was less decisive and short tempered , I therefore decided we needed to get away just the two of us to relax... 

I text my sister and she said 'go for it, you need this and it will allow you two talk, you have both worked so hard'....so a 5 day Holiday was booked on a Tuesday 14th May going that week Thursday.... Thank Heavens...relief and time out was immanent.....